An overdue thundering herd of free range FUCK YOU!
Monday, June 8th, 2009Jeebus H. Christ I’ve been a pathetic whining bitch lately. Oh boo hoo, I’m broke, wah wah I’m getting divorced, whine bitchpissmoan…
Oh woe is me, my life sucketh. Blah blah fuckitty blah.
FUCK! THIS!! SHIT!!! I’m done with it. I didn’t rebuild this shithole to fucking cry and leave it to rot. I don’t even care if I only have three people reading anymore.
So here my fine friends is an incoherent rambling list of all the people/places/and things I want to send out a
bellowed “FUCK YOU!” to along with a backhand barbed wire bitchslap:
To the UAW and every other fucking union whose members think that because they can operate a fucking air ratchet, clean a toilet, swing a hammer, or drive a forklift they deserve wages 50% higher than the same non-union member makes for the same job and cradle to grave health care now funded by my taxes:
Go fuck yourselves. Oh wait, you already have! You just don’t realize it yet. That radar dish eared commie fuck you helped get elected? You know, the one with the umbilical cord attached to a teleprompter?
Yeah, you may think it’s fucking keen that he’s overstepping…, shit- who are we kidding? LEAPING over his Constitutional authority by giving you assholes more of a stake in GM and Chrysler than the people who actually INVESTED in those companies, but wait! What’s this?? A “car czar” that’s only 31 years old. NEVER worked a DAY in the private sector, not a second in the auto industry, and he gets to plot your future.
BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA! Have fun building golf carts nobody wants to buy, shitheads. And don’t count on them making us buy them either, as soon as most of America realizes that “Hope and Change” means “Hope my kids don’t die when I Change lanes”, your investment in Washington is going to be worth less than that stock you were kicked back.
Well played UAW, well played. You shit on your own plate, and rejoiced when you were served seconds. You couldn’t have fucked yourselves any better if you had handcuffed yourselves to a radiator bent over, spread, and pre-lubed in a San Fran sex offender halfway house.
Fuck you!
Speaking of San Fran, a heaping handful of FUCK YOU to that military jet abusing, torture memo disremembering cunt Nancy Pelosi. The fact that this bitch is two steps from the Presidency makes me wonder if I’d died and not been cast into the firey pit, but some long forgotten beta version of hell where instead of being broiled for eternity we get randomly inflicted with giga-duurrrhhs of fucking weapons grade surreal stupidity. I’m talking dumbfuckery so potent it damages the genetic integrity of those exposed resulting in spawning misbred litters of mutants, yetis, still birthed sea monkeys, and Democrats (my apologies to any still born mutant sea monkey yetis I may have offended).
Fuck You Bitch! I hope that next time you go over to enemy soil to french kiss the taint of some Islamic dirtbag that head scarf of yours gets sucked into the turbine of that military transport you hijack all the time.
For once, I would feel that my tax dollars were well spent.
A porn music fuck you to you, San Fran Nan: BowChicaWaaahwaahhhchica FUCKYOU!
Yeah, if you’re wondering, I have had a few beers. Now shut the fuck up, read, or go away.
Speaking of beer and (cough) “music”, I stopped after work at the pub for some fish and chips last Friday with Contagion. Beer. Fish. Friend. Malt Vinegar! Good! Band…. band BAD. Oh… oh god Band REALLY BAD! Band make Grau want to jam fists into transparent battle maces (AKA Bass pint glasses) and bludgeon the guy singing some kind of fucking dirge to accordion music and some kind of pseudo-steel guitar into paste! AIIGHHHH make it STOP make it STOP!!! Grau SMASH!
Seriously, it was like “What if we took classic rock tunes and sung them off key to someone who actually manages to play accordion like they spent their formative years huffing paint while listening to the Cure”
It’s an Oompah-GothTard tribute band.
One of the bartenders there is pregnant. I implored her to either allow me to mercy kill the band, or vacate the area before she ended up birthing a Democrat Sea Monkey Yeti ThingThatShouldNotBe. Alas, the damage may have already been done.
So Boogeryas and the Saucy lito band or whatever the fuck your names were: FUCK YOU! You are track one on my Beta Version Hell Soundtrack™. Next time a Bass Transparent Battle Mace™ will either grace your skulls or I will bludgeon myself unconscious to spare myself the aural horror.
(Mk I TBM™ filled with Bass Combat Enhancement Fluid)
The fish and chips were unaffected by the malignant sound waves and remained delicious.
Gah! I’ll continue this tomorrow. Right now I have beer that needs to be filtered through my kidneys.
See, you feel better now don’t you? I told you to quit holding it in. As for that American Auto Industry and the UAW, yea I’m pretty sure i’m done with both. I’ll go out of my way to buy any product not affiliated with either if I can.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*jiggly dance*
Sick em, Tiger!
Bwahahaha! Awesom rant, Grau… Great to see you in true form!
So…. tell us how you REALLY feel?
Oh and Marsha is prolly in fear of her unborn child thanks to THAT rant! LOL
Heading back tomorrow if you wanna meet up there
I may do just that.
4 readers…
Fuckin’ awesome, Dude!
Og sent me over here to look. You just landed on my FAVEs list.
LOL! I feel better now…
If you want to punish the UAW properly, then never buy another car or truck from any of the “Big Three” again.
And that doesn’t mean you have to buy “Imports,” either. Plenty of foreign manufacturers have factories right here in America, so buying from them employs Americans. All of the following have factories in the U.S., which are (to the best of my knowledge) free of Union infestation:
BMW, Honda, Hyundai, Mazda, Mercedes-Benz, Mitsubishi, Nissan, Subaru, and Toyota.
There’s also Tesla, which makes a couple of electric cars, but they’re too small to really count yet. (Maybe when their prices come down where normal people can afford them, they’ll get big enough to take seriously.)
Oh my God!….that was the funniest shit I have read in decades!….I laughed out loud and clapped my hands and giggled and wheezed and laughed some more…..Oh my fucking word it is about time somebody said it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn that made me feel better just reading it.
Fuckin awesome.
Well…this place never fails in surprising me man.. LOL.. Hoping you are all doing good today. Enjoy the day, and always keep smiling. Then stab someone in the chest as you continue to smile. LOL.