The airwaves and interwebz have been all abuzz the last couple days with lefties recycling the story about Mitt Romney putting his explosively shitting pooch in a special rooftop dog carrier back in 1983, with the conservative blithering idiots countering that Obama ate fido-kabobs when he was a still a larval communist.

Get a fucking grip, people.

Do I think the dog on the roof thing was fucking retarded and cruel? Probably. For all we know, their dog may have loved riding up there and honestly just had the scoots. Or he was terrified out of his canine mind, and power shit everywhere as if Satan’s vacuum cleaner was chasing him around the house.

Don’t know, don’t care.

If nothing else, it annoys Ingrid Newkirk which gives me a warm fuzzy.

As for Obama eating dog when he was a kid?

Listen close, because this is one of the few times you’ll ever see me give that Tranzi motherfucker a pass.

Here’s a harsh truth most people in the western world don’t like to think about: If it’s made of meat, it is a staple of someone’s diet somewhere. Even if it’s poisonous, someone will have found a way to make it edible because they need the calories to survive. Or just because they think it’s delicious.

Your daily internet slideshow of cute and fuzzy puppers and kittehs?

It’s an interactive video menu for someone in Asia or Africa.

Deal with it.

If Obama was having the chef in the White House serve Beagle Alfredo, I might have an issue with it. Scarfing a Poodle Panini somewhere in Indochina as a kid?

Who. The. Fuck. Cares.

If I found out today that Romney used to smash kittens with a mallet back in the 80′s, I’d still vote for him over Obama because it doesn’t affect the nation. Obama would push through a 3700 page bill titled the “Anti-Splat Cat Act” that nobody would be allowed to read, the vote taking place at midnight in the Senate parking garage, and deemed passed after the four senators that showed up said “eh”. Two months later we’d find out it cost a trillion dollars more than planned and hidden on page 2567 subsection B is a 75 billion dollar kickback to a union factory that makes kitten smashing hammers that’s about to go bankrupt because their hammers cost four times as much as their competitor’s and they suck.

I love my pets. I love my country more. Period, underline, end of fucking story.

Can we get back to the shit that matters now?

Filed under: Random Political Musings by Graumagus