Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead in a Badger Den in Wales
My favorite part?
Investigators have not ruled out the possibility of suicide, according to the report.
Killing yourself with a badger.
Hardcore folks. Hard-Fucking-Core.
v1.1 and v1.2 were failures. Schnucks milk is useless for cheese.
Some milk is labeled pasteurized but is actually heated to within a couple degrees of what would legally have to labeled ultra-pasteurized to increase shelf life.
v1.3 turned out ok, but the milk didn’t curd up all that well. Instead of getting the nice custard like consistency shown here I got curds that looked like cottage cheese and a low yield. Tasted good once I used the right kind of salt, unlike my first try.
The fifth try was better. Still curded up like cottage cheese, but I added an extra 1/8 tablet of rennet and let it set for an extra 10 minutes so I got a much higher yield.
Pulled this into sticks and dropped directly into ice water to firm it up fast, then we used wonton wrappers to make cheese sticks. They were yummy.
I’m going to try store bought milk one more time and adding some calcium chloride to see how much it helps the curding. There are a few more simple soft cheeses I want to try, but for anything else I think I’ll use the raw straight from the farm milk.
I don’t want to spend a good portion of the day making something just to have it fail because I don’t know how my milk has been treated.
I have designs for a small cheese press I will be building soon (pretty simple). Cheese presses are so far overpriced for how simple they are it’s ridiculous (in the $150-$300 range for a small one).
I need the press for the Farmhouse Cheddar I will be trying soon…. Once I have the techniques hammered out for that (it requires temperature control that’s going to be challenging) I think I’ll be shopping for a small fridge that I’ll rig with a special temp controller to use as an aging cabinet. if (when) I branch off into mold ripened cheeses like blue and stilton, I’ll need ANOTHER aging cabinet because they age at a different temp and the P. Roqueforti culture is some tenacious stuff that will spread it’s delicious moldiness to your other cheese whether you want it to or not.
I’m turning into a food nerd 
I don’t do pretentious well. I’m too cheap.
Every now and then I enjoy a cigar.The first time I had a good cigar, and decided that I liked them, I experimented with many different brands and types, and discovered a few things.
Firstly, the overwhelming majority of “trendy” cigars (such as Cohiba red dot) kinda suck.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad cigar, but $15+ a stick is fucking ridiculous for what you get. On the several I’ve had the flavor wasn’t all that, and one notable fail was constructed worse than the shit cigars you can get at Walgreens.
There are a ton of good ones in the $4-$10 range that blow the trendy expensive shit away.
When I partake of a “luxury” item, it’s because I enjoy that item, not because I want to be seen enjoying it.
In the last few years, I find myself starting to really enjoy wine.
I used to hate it.
Turns out I was just getting really shitty wine. Including some fairly high end stuff (just because it sat in an oak cask for ten years doesn’t mean it isn’t oak flavored vinegar).
The reason this comes to mind is that I downed about half a bottle of 2009 Chateau Ste. Michelle Gewurztaminer last night eating dinner and watching the Giants/49er’s.
Sounds pretentious as hell for a $10 bottle of wine, doesn’t it?
Yet it scores in the upper 80′s/lower 90′s on a lot of the wine reviews I looked up after I bought it (I picked it up mainly because I had never heard of gewurztraminer before and it sounded good).
Yummy.
Just because something is expensive doesn’t make it worth a fuck, and just because something is in the price range of a semi-broke asshole like me doesn’t mean it’s going to suck.
(Unfortunately I have yet to find a scotch in the $20 range that’s even in the same time zone as Glenmorangie 18 year port wine cask….. sigh)
You remember me mentioning Conspiracy Theory Guy at work?
Yeah, here’s a good one…
More often than not, I eat lunch alone at work back on an inspection table in my corner of the shop.
It’s not that I’m anti-social, I just don’t like being around and/or interacting with other human beings that much….
Really? That’s really the definition? No shit. Hmmm..
Moving along…
Anyway, I usually bring a book to read, slap in my earbuds, and chill while I scarf lunch. It’s a nice bullshit-free divider for my bullshit laden day.
Of late, the subject most of the books I bring to work has been…. gardening.
Not what most folks would expect from me, I know. Lately I’ve been on a kick to expand my skill set into areas that enhance self-sufficiency. Even though Rave and I are apartment bound for the foreseeable future (and have shitty window placement for growing plant life), I’ve been wanting to learn as much as I can about growing my own food for a time in the future when that is no longer the case.
And, believe it or not, the organic methods appeal to me far more than using chemical fertilizers and pesticides. Not for any hippie bullshit reasons, but for the common sense factor that once you go the artificial route you can never go back because pesticides/herbicides will kill off many of the beneficial things in your soil as well as the invaders. You try going organic AFTER using chemicals, insects have no buggy predators left and will eat your plants to hell.
And, if the world goes to shit, you can’t just pop over to the wallyworld for a gallon of RoundUp.
Anyway, Conspiracy Theory Guy sees my books, and starts (god, why do I keep letting it get past the first three words), STARTS to converse normally about gardening.
Then casually mentions that anything not grown in a greenhouse is even more poisoned than what you get off the produce shelf at the supermarket because of the government spraying chemtrails. (read the comments here if you feel like dropping a few dozen IQ points). You see, other people think it’s mind control, but really it’s to fuck up any home produced food so people will keep eating the genetically altered stuff.
I bet his greenhouse has a Star Trek-esque airlock.
I swear to god this otherwise intelligent human being actually believes EVERY fucking thing he reads on the goddamn internet.
I would normally retaliate with a counter conspiracy but I was not in the fucking mood and I didn’t have any horticultural bullshit in my cache.
Oh yeah, they poison the bees too. He had bees and they went away, so that proves THAT shit, you sheeple!
And people wonder why the fuck I prefer to keep company with a book and music instead of human beings.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to escape the living dead.
They ran like hell for they were out of shells to shoot them in the head.
At the top they came to a stop finding themselves confounded.
In their haste to flee no safe path did they see and now they were truly surrounded.
Jill’s mind was quick in Jack’s nuts she kicked her love for him bluntly eschewing.
She ran like hell as screaming he fell and a mile away could still hear the chewing.
I was very bored at work the night before last.
I’m not going to black out shit to protest SOPA. I’m not the silent and peaceful protesting type.
What I am going to do is dedicate money and time to supporting every single primary and election opponent you have, now and forever, if you do not actively oppose this tyrannical piece of shit bill.
Limiting speech and free transfer of information without due process to please a few lobbying groups is going to end your political career. Period. And you will not get a pass by voting “present” on this one.
Before you blow me off as just another angry crank on the internet, consider this:
When the sheep you contemptuously pay lip service to when seeking election have trouble getting their ‘I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER’ cute cat pictures and web comics because someone complained they used copyrighted material (whether they did or not), assholes like me will point to YOU as allowing that to happen.
When people can’t watch videos of dumb crap on YouTube because someone slipped in a fan video using someone’s music without paying a copyright fee, assholes like me will explain in detail how YOU promoted or sat on your ass and allowed it to go dark. Statistically, Keyboard Cat got a hell of a lot more attention from registered voters than YOU did last year.
When the morons stupid enough to check your name at the ballot box despite the insidious drek you pull in government can’t get to their Facebook accounts to play Mafia Wars and Farmville, vindictive bastards such as myself will be there to explain (in small words) that YOU had the opportunity to vote this down and failed to do so.
And, lastly, most people say they are against pornography. Yet, somehow, it is a fourteen billion dollar a year industry. Need I say what will happen to the election prospects of the politician that stopped those people who would never ever look at smut from getting their daily intake of naked flesh videos?
The majority of your constituents may not be informed enough to truly understand what you do to them in the halls of government. Most of them who do understand are too apathetic to care.
Take away their bread and circuses and I guarantee the mob will be looking to tear someone’s career to shreds, and assholes such as myself will be there aiming them at you.
We will turn it into a game.
Do you REALLY want the people to take a hard look at you, or do you want them safely asleep, business as usual?
We both know the answer to that one.
Leave the internet ALONE.
Tried my hand at making Mozzarella over the weekend with mixed results.
First came a trip out to the farm to pick up a gallon of raw milk, where Rave and I happened to run into Guy S. who was likewise there to get milk and eggs.
Kick ass! Always cool to meet the folks you “talk” to on the interwebz in the flesh. Beer and such must be arranged some time. Or, even better, there needs to be another Ogfest where great food, drink, conversation, and ammunition are never scarce.
Headed back home, and got out the pots, dairy thermometer, and prepared the citric acid and rennet.
Tossed my citric acid solution in the stock pot, added my milk and mixed the shit out of it, heated it to the proper temp, added the rennet solution, and let it set… viola!
Curds and Whey (Spider not Included):
Cut my curds, ladled them out, seemed to be going well, got the right consistency…
…And after draining the whey, heating the curds in the microwave, and stretching and such I ended up with a nice ball of… really REALLY bland cheese 
I didn’t add nearly enough salt after draining the whey.
That said, as a learning experience, this was a win. I see a WHOLE lot of things I’m going to set up differently (need to stage everything I’m going to use better).
Going to get this perfected (and also make some ricotta) before I move on to gouda and cheddar. Also thinking about making some mozzarella with chipotle chili powder and some curled up in little logs with with prosciutto. Just because it sounds awesome
Until then, at least Askhim the Dorkcat is digging the bland cheese….
Seems the People’s Republik of Illinois fucked up and bounced 85 checks to Lotto winners.
As broke as the state is, this wasn’t a case of there not being funds to pay, but the kind of clusterfuck we peasant subjects owned by the Lords of Chicago have come to expect from our public (cough) “servants”.
This got me thinking the other day of how, since this state has the worst credit rating in the nation (suck it Cali!), we could use time tested methods to pay off debts and raise revenue.
No no nononono…. none of that lower taxes, create a business friendly environment bullshit for Illinois. That’s crazy talk.
I’m talking about selling secular Indulgences.
Indulgences became increasingly popular in the Middle Ages as a reward for displaying piety and doing good deeds, though, doctrinally speaking, the Church stated that the indulgence was only valid for temporal punishment for sins already forgiven in the Sacrament of Confession. The faithful asked that indulgences be given for saying their favourite prayers, doing acts of devotion, attending places of worship, and going on pilgrimage; confraternities wanted indulgences for putting on performances and processions; associations demanded that their meetings be rewarded with indulgences. Money raised by indulgences was used for many righteous causes, both religious and civil; building projects funded by indulgences include churches, hospitals, leper colonies, schools, roads, and bridges.[37]
However, the later Middle Ages saw the growth of considerable abuses. Greedy commissaries sought to extract the maximum amount of money for each indulgence.[39] Professional “pardoners”[4] (quaestores in Latin) – who were sent to collect alms for a specific project – practiced the unrestricted sale of indulgences. Many of these quaestores exceeded Church teachings, whether in avarice or ignorant zeal, and promised impossible rewards like salvation from eternal damnation in return for money.[37] With the permission of the Church, indulgences also became a way for Catholic rulers to fund expensive projects, such as Crusades and cathedrals, by keeping a significant portion of the money raised from indulgences in their lands.[37] There was a tendency to forge documents declaring that indulgences had been granted.[37] Indulgences grew to extraordinary magnitude, in terms of longevity and breadth of forgiveness.
Granted, there is already a system like this in place, but instead of the normal method of campaign contributions, kickbacks to union leaders, etc. we could have a codified system in which a normal citizen such as myself could pony up some scratch for the opportunity to engage in behavior that would normally land me in front of a judge.
For instance, I would gladly cough up a couple grand a year to be allowed to taser anyone who blocks passerby via stopping and having a conversation in a supermarket doorway.
Since pensions for public sector union members are bankrupting the state, I suggest that teachers should be allowed to trade in a percentage of the annual taxpayer share for their retirement for the right to slap the shit out of one student a week.
If the state owed me a grand from a lotto ticket, I should be allowed at least 20 counts of public urination free.
They could give me a “Free Pee” punch card.
I like the idea of a percentage of income too, therefore some rich guy would be on equal footing with everyone else (normally I’m not even in the same zipcode with the idea of government enforced “equality”, but if someone could buy a coupon to kick me in the balls scot free I want to be able to afford to return the favor).
Possibilities….
Was over at my Dad’s yesterday to set up a loaner computer for my Sister until I can get hers fixed (her motherboard fried: it ain’t pretty).
She’s living at my Dad’s house in my old bedroom. Just for shits and giggles, I opened up a compartment of the entertainment center I used as a computer workstation (if you can call a Commodore 64 with dual 1541A floppy drives and a 1200 baud modem I used for various nefarious purposes a “workstation”).
I found the following:
A Chilton’s automotive repair manual and the complete set of Ford shop manuals for the 1978 Ford Pinto.
A bank statement from October 1989 that showed I had more available funds in my account when I was 18 than I do today (ouch).
And this:
My High School Drafting Textbook.
Holy. Shitballs.
I took drafting for freshman and sophomore year in high school, and engineering graphics (drafting with a side of CAD) for my junior and senior years. My high school was closed after 1989, and these books were just being thrown out so my teacher asked me if I wanted it. My Dad was a mechanical designer (didn’t have a degree, but was so damn good at what he did he had a team of engineers working under him), and I had an 8′x4′ drafting board complete with machine and scales in the basement to do my homework on. It rocked.
I forgot I even had this book. I doubt I’ve opened it since the early 90′s
If this text looks ancient it’s because:
If you click to embiggify, you’ll see that’s copyright 1957, and that the first edition of this text was copyrighted in 1919.
I made fun of that in my misspent youth, but in retrospect this was definitely a feature, not a bug.
I say that, because they simply do not teach the art of drafting like this anymore. Judging by the prints I all too often see in my line of work, they aren’t even teaching people to draw with a CAD program worth a shit anymore. Seriously. It irritates me to no end that assholes that probably make double my salary can’t even get basic views and isometric rendering right.
I obtained a plethora of knowledge from this little book that still benefits me to this day.
How many of you guys out there can say you use something you took as an elective in high school on a daily basis?
Now I want to design some three dimensional sheet metal objects, develop them in 2D, and draft a print.
Just for nostalgia’s sake
You know, if I’m going to be busy and not posting for shit for a couple days, I probably ought to not have my last post be something like “Holiday Melancholy”, even if I actually had nothing of the sort and was just using that an excuse to bitch about the IRS (If I ever meet that FICA asshole in a dark alley, I’m knifing him in the kidney and pissing on his twitching body as he bleeds out).
Back to the bullshit….
